Love for Johnny is something that has to be physical, sensual and probably involve some material comforts and wherewithal too. Johnny also wants love to be solid and lasting, with possibly traditional or close-to-nature qualities about it. However, without taking a look at the more spiritual or psychological aspects of relating, Johnny could be consigning himself to being in a dull, gross or possessive relationship. Such blind physical indulgence would amount to mere Fancy.

...a rich earthy appeal that promises pleasure and ultimate satisfaction.
...a feeling that he is solid and reliable and not given to flightiness or unpredictability.
...a natural attractiveness that is erotic but not threatening or artificial.

...a possessiveness that prevents him from seeing anyone as an individual in their own right.
...a blind and gross need for material stability or sexual indulgence that inhibits any sense of mystery or excitement.
...a jealousy born of lacking any sense of his own inner worth.

...very tactile types who display a traditional sense of the romantic.
...someone who has artistic talent or awareness, especially a good singing or speaking voice.
...natural qualities, good living, creature comforts, and material stability.

...a lack of physical affection or sensuality.
...someone with no sense of beauty, or little love of nature.
...synthetic, ultra-modern life-styles, and anyone who has such.

...it is because that in concentrating so much, consciously or unconsciously, on having material stability or physical gratification in a relationship and partner, he has overlooked the importance of the inner person or qualities. His aloneness, whether he is still with someone or not, is in aid of forcing this spiritual or psychological consideration upon him.

A variation upon this theme, which applies mainly if Johnny is entirely alone, is that he holds someone to be some object of love that he wishes to own or admire from afar. Such an attitude is bound to maintain that very distance interminably, so he would need to get down to a more honest, physical level of loving and relating.

Johnny has the primary need to be useful to or his mate or intended, or simply needed by them, but this is possibly created by ingrained fears of rejection if he doesn't measure up.
Johnny has practical instincts giving rise to reliability and efficiency, but this can be a compensation for an ingrained sense of emotional inadequacy.
Johnny is naturally inclined to being serious and hard-working, but can lean towards being joyless or emotionally absent.

...for his partner or intended with a cautiousness of approach which proves to be a sign of staunch commitment when he has at last decided.
...by being able to sort out his opposite number's difficulties in a very objective and business-like fashion.
...with surprising passion when trust is at last won and familiarity established.

...to opportunities for emotional experience with severe distrust, for fear of being hurt or inflicting it.
...to his significant other in a reserved and matter-of-fact manner when really sentiment and sympathy are needed.
...to any sign of a significant other's interest waning by going very cold or merely dutiful.

...someone who is professional or worldly, and rather conservative in at least one way.
...anyone who can lend some warmth to his sometimes rather chilly inner state.
...relationships where he can maintain some emotional control and thereby establish some stability and order which would be reassuring to {himself/herself} first, then to his mate.

...a relationship with a person who withholds something or fails to deliver in some way, mirroring a childhood pattern of his of not feeling deserving of love.
...a relationship where he feels dull and lacking in spontaneity in comparison to his partner, while overlooking his priceless reliability.
...boring or dead-end relationships because he finds it hard to allow in a new or random element that could spice things up because that would also be seen as threatening.

But it is through these situations that Johnny develops emotionally.

...it is either because it is the best or only way that he is able to control his emotional life, or, he has become isolated within a relationship – which certainly makes him feel alone.

But it is that need to control and not let emotions take their course which is behind both of these possibilities. And behind this is the likelihood that as a child Johnny was never recognized as a as a child, as someone with feelings.

Being left to become an adult too soon made him feel alone, but he accepted it at the time. Now, when Johnny is again alone, it is telling him not to be emotionally short-changed anymore.

Now he must dispel that cloud that hangs around inside of him, come out of the shadow it casts, and be a second-class emotional citizen no longer. Johnny will probably always be one of life's survivors and supporters, but that does not mean to say that he has practically to prove that he is worth something in order to be loved and accepted.

Such is a lie and a sin against human feelings and the child within, and must be resisted at all costs as Johnny claims his soul's due. Yes, Johnny has a soul that must be recognized and appreciated for what it is.

Effectiveness for Johnny is attained and maintained through working very hard at improving his knowledge and technique and also at what gets in the way of his achieving satisfaction or the desired effect. However, he needs to avoid being too hard on himself or a significant other for this would lead to endless disappointments. Setting the bar too high, making or choosing a target too hard to hit, can result in an unattractive petulance that Johnny would be better off expressing as pure and honest Anger.

...a finely attuned attentiveness that makes his mate or intended feel picked out for some special quality and reason.
...an ability to hit the right spot sexually, along with a certain delicacy of touch.
...a thorough and methodical way of doing things.

...a fussy and critical eye that leaves no room for mistakes and therefore none for naturalness and spontaneity either.
...sexually inhibiting behaviour; being very exacting or repressed regarding sex.
...workaholism; obsession with doing things at the 'right' time and in the 'right' place.

...someone who is reliable, practical, clean, hardworking and intellectually astute.
...someone with a definite degree of modesty or reserve, for to him this is the essence of desirability - whether he knows it or not.
...someone who is meticulous in their manner of dress, movement, and verbal or facial expression.

...coarseness and vulgarity.
...anyone who makes it too easy for him to get what he wants from them because it must mean it is not worth much.
...fumbling and inappropriate behaviour or anything else that fails to hit his own small and critical spot.

...it is because no-one has yet been born who can fill all of his requirements long enough for him to realize that it is his list of requirements that is at fault. Curiously, Johnny may have become quite indiscriminate in his choice of partners to relieve his sense of aloneness, but this would simply be a case of going from one extreme to the other – the commonest human trait of the lot!

A more profound reason for Johnny being alone, particularly if it has been for quite some time, is that his 'sexual dust' is still having to settle. This means that Johnny's attitude to sex has certain impurities or misconceptions about it that puts a bar upon him attracting it –that is, until he cleans up his act or gets something straight. If this is the case, Johnny must be careful not to be so self-critical that such denial shows like a skin disease for that would ironically prolong the process.

Johnny wins by generously expressing himself with chatty familiarity and sense of humour, but loses when this descends into flippancy, sitting on the fence, and not being seen to take the other person seriously enough.
Johnny's wins by showing an obvious interest in his partner or intended, and communicating well with them, but loses when it becomes too trivial and distracting from emotional concerns.
Johnny wins when he is light and amusing, but might ultimately lose by being flip or insubstantial.

...his sparkling display of wit and anecdotes that refreshes the other person and relieves them of their heavier thoughts and feelings.
...his air of things being easy to accomplish, and that worrying is not in his nature.
...his ability to turn his hand to all manner of things with style and agility.

...with a superficiality that is so dense that the other person cannot penetrate it - only leave it, ultimately.
...with a cleverness that masks a deep inner doubt with regard to himself and life in general, which the other person inevitably spots.
...by knowing everything, but understanding little - least of all how the other person feels.

...knowing a lot but feeling too little, at least apparently.
...his fear of commitment causing the other person to not want, or not be able, to commit to him.
...his reluctance to get right down to the real underlying truth of some issue, because of a fear that his significant other will then get heavy, leave or just fail to be interested - but the opposite usually proves to be the case!

...in the face of not knowing what to say or how to behave.
...at the prospect of someone getting to know him well enough to discover that he does not love or know himself as much as he might appear to.
...when he cannot intellectualize or ramble on, which he does for fear of not being accepted for both sides of his personality, that is, the light and dark.

But sincerely admitting to any or all of these, commands or regains respect for him from the other person, and can dramatically improve the relationship itself.

...he has the other, darker, side of his personality for company. This would be his 'dark twin' as opposed tohis 'light twin' that is usually on display.

Johnny's dark twin is all the doubts and irrationalities that he finds hard to accept and strives even harder to avoid or hide. For this reason, Johnny tries never to be out of relationship for too long. It is also why he has, or is tempted to have, more than one partner - or at least, keep his options open.

But sooner or later, Johnny's dark twin, like his own shadow, will overtake and even engulf him. This most probably will take the form of getting involved with someone or something that really is dark, in the sense of being unstable, manipulative or in some other way dubious.

It is at such a time of being or feeling very alone (= all-one), that Johnny must get to know and befriend what he has come to regard as unlovable in himself. Then Johnny will eventually realize that his dark twin was simply being kept in the dark.

Then his personality with be more complete and genuine, which will in turn attract a partner to match.

...having to be practical and making sense, and so he approaches matters concerning his mate or intended equipped with the ability to create and maintain material stability or physical satisfaction.
...patiently and consistently considering what he sees as all the relevant details until a realistic approach and enduring solution is reached.
...nothing being worth getting too upset about.

...deeper emotional issues that require a more psychologically or spiritually informed awareness, giving rise to his partner or intended feeling blocked or misunderstood.
...that some issues need dealing with spontaneously or swiftly, otherwise matters are in danger of deteriorating or moving on, with Johnny missing his opportunity.
...what is bothering his mate or intended.

And these are reasons why Johnny can fail to communicate.

Johnny has the goodness to put his cards on the table, but he should guard against being foolish or naive.
Johnny has the morality to honour his significant other's beliefs, yet at the same time needs to resist being intolerant when push comes to shove.
Johnny has respect for a partner's right to assert themselves freely, yet should resist attacking or disregarding what they then say or do.

...promoting or encouraging their efforts and intentions to make something of themselves in their own right.
...championing them when they are not afraid to stand up for what they believe in.
...standing alone by his principles or taking up a leading position when the occasion demands it.

...enthusiastic about something simply because it is individualistic but does not necessarily have much going for it.
...impatient and even scathing of his mate or intended when they are not too sure of their standpoint.
...arrogant, precipitous and wasteful when the complexity of a situation calls for caution.

...that luck and faith are things that you attain through your own efforts, and that the courage of your convictions and fighting for them is what makes you and them grow stronger.
...that life looks after those that live it, who take advantage of opportunities on impulse.

...someone who believes that everything comes to him who waits, or that the meek shall inherit the Earth, or similar philosophies of passivity.

....sometimes one has to wait and take a back seat for a while; a partner or intended can show him how to spot the right moment, or how they have to.

...it is most probably because he taken his need for independence to its logical conclusion - or extreme, more like. Or, if Johnny is in some sort of leadership position, such a place is often a lonely one to be in.

In either case, he has to weigh the advantages against the disadvantages. It could be said that his forceful beliefs eventually force him to come to some sort of philosophy of acceptance regarding the aloneness that can go with independence or leadership.

If however he finds this unacceptable, the spell of aloneness can be broken if he is prepared to share the nature of that aloneness with a significant other, someone who preferably also has some experience of being a leader or a loner themselves for then they'll properly understand Johnny's predicament.

What all this amounts to is that surrendering the status he has as a leader also eliminates the inaccessibility of being a loner. Into the bargain both Johnny and his mate gain a personal respect for one another, a respect that is rather like that of comrades-in-arms. Even though they may be fighting different battles, their wounds are the same.

Johnny builds or needs to build a relationship that respects each other's uniqueness and so avoids the mean alternative of alienating one another.
Johnny has or needs the discipline to ascertain and stick to his principles, but guard against being judgmental.
Johnny takes, or needs to take, time to accept and creatively develop idiosyncrasies within a relationship, and so avoid suppressing originality or the unconventional.

...relationships that do not allow him to be himself, with all his so-called peculiarities upfront.
...someone who insists that he behaves in a fashion that is acceptable to whoever they regard as being the 'right people'.
...highly unusual or unconventional relationships that are highly unlikely to go anywhere.

...be his true self through having it forced to the surface by being trapped in the midst of false and shallow people with values to match.
...go through a zigzag process whereby he is shunted this way and that until he eventually arrives with the right person in the right place at the right time.
...realize that being in unlikely relationships is a reflection of how much he mistakenly sees his unusualness as being something that makes him a misfit.

...someone who allows him to go through numerous twists and turns as he endeavours to discover who he really is as a unique individual.
...someone who is way outside of his background's idea of acceptability, but knows the real Johnny.
...someone who is unusual in a positively creative way.

...someone who gets embarrassed by his idiosyncrasies - or, worse still, is critical of them.
...going overboard for someone simply because they are the type his mother or father warned him against.
...pretentiousness in any shape or form, particularly a pretence at being liberal.

...it is quite likely owing to his being what could be called a 'social rarity', in that he does not fit easily into one of the usual niches that society provides.
Put plainly, the odds of Johnny finding a suitable partner are not so much against him, but dependent upon him having arrived at a thorough awareness and acceptance of his own distinctly unique personality.

This will take time for him to arrive at, but when he does, that 1000-to-1 chance will seem immaterial as that one in a thousand-person pops into his life.

However, the real quirk here is that Johnny can be inclined to look and go for someone who is as conventional as he likes to think he is, or who is as odd and he hopes he is not!

Consequently, Johnny can persist in making the odds of finding a suitable mate longer than they actually are. Yet another permutation is where Johnny finds the right person but they seem too unusual for him, that is, they are reflecting back at him his own unusualness which he is denying.

Given time, and an honest awareness of his idiosyncrasies, Johnny should find the unique lid to fit his unique kettle.

Observer or Outsider

Like a monarch Johnny expresses himself with apparent confidence and style, with a regal air that names the game and sets the rules. This self-presentation can initially attract someone who is simply entertained and dazzled by him, but eventually it attracts someone who, like a court jester, positively responds only when Johnny is aware of what is popular and has at heart the interests of his partner or intended.

Failing this, Johnny is met with cool indifference, mockery or outright rebellion. Conversely, his significant other's views and theories about life and society, if only slightly tinged with political correctness, are shot down by Johnny with a blast of passionate self-justification.

When, on the other hand, his opposite number's populist point of view is expressed in such a way as to make it clear that noting it would lead to elevating Johnny's individual position, then he graciously and happily accepts it.

Cool and Ordinary

Johnny has a horror of being seen as merely one amongst the grey mass of human society, so he rankles when his partner or intended shows signs of being a member of this large and unexclusive club with values that subscribe to fitting in but at the same time want to be slightly different too.

But this is simply catching Johnny's shadow, tellinghim that the side to him that is a bit so-called ordinary can be paradoxically quite quirky, and more to the point, findhim feeling less self-conscious and more at ease with the world.

This is like the monarch who is far more popular with his subjects because he is seen to be like them in some respect. Another important part of Johnny's shadow is coolness, something whichhe might accusehis partner or intended of being ashe projects his shadow on to them.

But trying to be brilliant, hot and romantic all the time is exhausting and ultimately ignored or avoided by a significant other, whereas being occasionally cool and detached makes Johnny more attractive and also takes the heat out of things.

Unusual and unprecedented types of interaction, with the accent of freedom, are what suit Johnny, despite the hassle and unpredictability they engender. It is as if Johnny is inventing a set of values that will match him and his mate exclusively. This quality of his relationship reflects what the poet Kahlil Gibran advised any couple: "Let the winds of the Heavens dance between you".

In other words, Johnny should never fall into complacency by thinking he really knows, let alone owns, his partner, or shock and upset will descend upon him. In any event, Johnny relationships are inclined to run hot and cold, go on/off, as needs for freedom and companionship alternate.

…or without success in, or recognition from, the world at large, it is no doubt because he has been sticking stubbornly to an egocentric viewpoint or value system that fails to appeal to a significant other or others in general.

So a partner, real or potential, has to follow the only course open to them in the face of such overt self-righteousness, which is to leave or never even appear.

If in future Johnny begins to show that behind his magnificent facade he is an ordinary, feeling human being, then that significant other - either in their current form or as a new one - will be only too pleased to bask in his light or appreciate his creative expressions.

This is just so long as Johnny's bright persona is not just a defence system against a world he feels does not understand him. The truth is that it will not do so as long as Johnny fails to show his merely human inside.